Some days you just can't predict whats coming. Thursday of this week my kids woke up at 5:50am. Then something miraculous happened...they went BACK to sleep! They slept until 7:15, for the first time in weeks! Nathan was only working that day then he would be off for two, so I, naturally, thought I can DO this today!! Extra sleep and only one day is no problem, right? Hahaha. Well karma decided to teach me a lesson on being cocky..
around 10 that morning I slipped into the bathroom for a few minutes, coffee drinkers will understand this, and I hear Eli yelling from his room. (Their room is baby proofed with a handle cap that Denver can open but Eli can not) And then I hear Denver yelling "POOP, There's poop on the floor!" I take a deep breath and open the bathroom door, and step in poo.. right outside the bathroom, on the carpet, and in the boys room too... Eli had gone pee downstairs in potty then came upstairs, naked, and Denver stuck him in their room and Eli couldn't get out. And apparently had to poop. I let out a yell. Then pulled myself together, scooped Eli up and put him in the sink, washed myself off in the tub. Then cleaned up the mess. Then gave Eli a bath, cloroxed the tub, spot cleaned the rug, then we vacuumed the bedroom and hallway. All before lunchtime. Then we made lunch and Eli and I got much needed naps. We ended the day playing in the grass and having a picnic snack before daddy got home. I am grateful I was able to handle it all even if I didn't handle it the best. I know days will always be full of surprises and chaos but as long as I keep my wits and remember that its only one day, and who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Endings are hard, but sometimes beginnings can be harder. I am a SAHM of two toddlers. boys. wild, crazy, silly, stubborn, lovely boys. But it is so much more than babysitting. feeding, cleaning, laundry, oh how i hate laundry. it NEVER ends. baths, naps. Then you feel awful if you're not teaching them things every day. Like there are parents out there who teach their 4 year old to read already. REALLY? I kept them from breaking an arm today and coerced them into spinach with their smoothly. I think it was a win today. But no it never does seem enough does it? no mater what you do, there is always more. More cleaning, more teaching, more manners, more patience. Oh how I need more patience. Ever feel like you just weren't made that way? seriously I don't think i''m hard wired for a massive amount of patience. it just isn't there. maybe that space is already full of things like Friends quotes and Gilmore Girl movie choices. I don't know. I do know that this "system" I have doesn't seem to be working. well its working but more in a squeaky gears, needs a tune up kind of way. how to fix it? Hell, I have no idea. Do I need a better routine? yeah probably. but I also need them to sleep past 6:30 if I'm expected to be productive for an entire day. So where do we go? not sure. I can't drive (thank you blindness) so regularly scheduled anything is virtually impossible. Do i want to contribute more? sure. but to get into daycare I have to have a job to pay for it. To get a job I need them in daycare. also, I'm not really excited about the prospect of a 9$/hr sales job just to cover the crazy cost of childcare. So I guess my searches into the great expanse of online business begins. I have friends in Lularoe, Beach Body, 31, Sentsy, Jamberry, Younique... I'm sure the list is possibly actually endless. It seems they are everywhere. for everyone. well almost everyone. I never saw myself as an online sales, pitching product (even great product) kind of girl. So for now, I'll continue my search for whats next. inwardly and outwardly. Things will change. eventually. I just have to figure out which direction I need to head first...